It was Good Friday, I went for a ride with my best-friend to Rutherford which is at least 50 miles up-north from where I live.
When we get there she tells me I have to find my way home. So, I get on the phone with NJ Transit,-they handle the train and bus schedules- I was informed by the operater that it would be better if I were to take the bus to the train. Well, I get on the bus, and I am listening to my ipod. A nice ride to the train station, it took about 40 minutes. When I get there and exit the bus I like to walk around the perimeter of the building. I usually go in to the side door. I am approached by a man who is built like a linebacker. He asks me for 35 cents and I can see sincerity in his eyes. I know that I have to reach into my purse to get out the money and so I tell him; "I will do you one more; I will give you a dollar", as I pull out my wallet. I give him the crispiest dollar I can find. He then thanks me I ablidge and we turn and walk away from each other. But, then something tells me to let him know it is the angels to kiss it to God. I turn around and shout it at him he kisses it to God and I smile as I open the door to andenter the building. It is on my mind and I have been praying to God and He has let me know he is there in several people or things that happen during the course of the week. I am not very financially well off. I have my financial worries more so because I am in college right now and can not work full time. But, I never lose sight of who I am and where I have come from. I know what it is like to be homeless and hungry. I have been there.
I have an hour wait for the train and I get to the track where I am suppose to pick up the train. I run into two police officers and ask them if it is the train that I am suppose to take to get home and the one recgonizes me. Not from college or N.A. but, from prison. I tell him he was one of the cool "C.O.'s". I tell him what I have been doing and I have been home now for a little over a year. So, they leave.
I get on the train finally after standing around jamming to tunes for over an hour. I am prepared to pay and the conductor waves at me forget the money put it away. I am sitting next to someone who is obviously drunk. We get into a discussion about God and sins and all that.......... It is nice for someone to believe what they want to believe and I can respect what people believe in general. But, don't beat me in the head with the bible. I know the scriptures. I know all about the bible. I studied it for four years. I know God does exsist. I love God! He is my father. But, how I practice or not is non of anyones bussiness. That is how I feel.
Anyway, I get off the train and I thank the conductor and he says; "your very welcome".
I walk around the corner to the cab stand. The lady tells me to call another cab company. Then my phone rings. It's my girlfriend. She says that my boyfriend is calling her nonstop and that he is acting up again.
Now, he is blind and a very angry man. He gives me a hard time, talks to my friends like they are shit and all. So, I get upset because he has blocked my number from calling and all. I have to get home asap and I start to have anxioty about it.When I finally get here the outside light is out and both locks are on. so, I unlock the door and find him in the bed as cool as a cucumber. Very odd. I start to cry. This is how upset I get when I think I am not going to have anywhere to go. So I thought.
Anyway, he told me to stop crying and we talked. I think he is starting to realize what he really puts me through. Emotionally speaking of course. I have explained this in other blog writings before.
The other day I found three dollars. I was getting in a cab and gave it to the cab driver. I thought it was that dollar coming back to me three fold as it usually does. But, I didn't feel worthy of it at the time and gave it to the cab driver. Then two days ago I was coming home from grocery shopping- big order- needed to call a cab. I get into the cab and there was nothing on the seat. But, when I got out of the cab there was a dollar coin on the seat. I kissed it to God and put that one in my pocket.
So, Angels do exsist and you just may be entertaining one right now and don't think for a minute your actions are unseen. A greater force then you is watching you. Believe that!
I love angels! Because they are in all of us....
